


White Flag

by disneyswiftie



Series: Tyrus Oneshots [9]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Avoidance, Costume Day Fix-It, Crying, Episode Fix-It: s03e13 Mount Rushmore or Less, First Kiss, Getting Together, Heartbreak, Insecurity, Insomnia, M/M, Moving On, Or trying to, Post-Costume Day (Andi Mack), Post-Episode: s03e13 Mount Rushmore or Less, Realization, Song: White Flag (Sabrina Carpenter), Songfic, Tears, light internalized homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:54:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23899315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disneyswiftie/pseuds/disneyswiftie
Summary: Songfic loosely based on "White Flag" by Sabrina Carpenter. Costume Day fix-it.
Relationships: Cyrus Goodman/T. J. Kippen
Series: Tyrus Oneshots [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1720249
Kudos: 36





	White Flag

_Take, take it all away_

_Save my heart for another day_

Cyrus sat on his bed, heartbroken. He had made the bitter mistake of letting his hopes get up so high. He should have known that TJ offering to do a costume with him was too good to be true. But who could blame him? Up until today, TJ seemed to be Cyrus's biggest fan. The obvious assumption would be that TJ would do anything to spend time with him, right? Well, apparently that changed when Kira showed up.

_I'm up late on the telephone_

_And I'm all alone with the dial tone_

Cyrus had tried numerous times to call TJ on the phone, only to be met with the endless sound of nothing. He wanted to give TJ a chance to share his side of the story, maybe even heal his heart a little with an explanation. But TJ seemed to be ignoring the boy. What Cyrus didn't know, though, was that TJ was too busy wallowing in his own misery to even notice his phone going off.

_Wait, wait 'til the sun is up_

_Drown my dreams in a coffee cup_

Cyrus couldn't sleep at all that night. So he just lay there on his bed, letting the tears silently stream down his face. The following morning, he got up, and barely made it through his morning routine, having zero minutes of sleep. He trudged down the stairs and made himself a large cup of coffee. He had never had it before, but thought the extra boost of energy might make his problems go away. Oh, how wrong he was.

_Palms out, wanna beg for luck_

_But I'm way too proud, never giving up_

Ten minutes after the coffee kicked in, and he was feeling more anxious than ever. What did this heartbreak mean for him? If he was this upset just because TJ didn't do a stupid costume with him, he realized he probably had a crush on him. And that made his mood ten times worse. But despite knowing that he could never be with TJ, he decided not to give up on having a decent life anyways. He decided he needed to move on.

_Oh, something's gotta happen_

_Something's gotta give_

_And something's got to break_

_I know, someday it's gonna happen_

_Someday it's gonna give_

_Can't always be this way_

Something had to go right for him at some point, right? He hoped it would, at least. Maybe someone else would come into his life that he would like and who would actually like him back. Then he would finally be happy. Someday. But he wished that day would come soon. He didn't know how much longer he could take this.

_And if the riptide come to get me_

_And pulls me under, it won't upset me_

_I'll go down_

He could survive this. He knew he could. Pain might have won this time, but he could get through it. He just needed to embrace it. He needed to admit to himself that it was okay to feel this way. For now, he had to let himself be sad, for it to end.

_I'll throw the white flag of surrender_

_Knock me down, not forever, just for now_

He went through most of the day bundled up in bed, and watching Netflix. He had finally accepted the pain. He knew that it was normal, and he was entitled to his feelings. But it hurt him thinking about how much this affected him when it probably didn't even affect TJ in the slightest.

_Give, give everything I've got_

_Out of reach but I'll take a shot_

That evening, after dinner, he decided to go for a walk to try to clear his head. He came across an empty basketball court near the park, and saw a basketball lying on the ground. A tear came to his eye as he was reminded of TJ. Then, he had a sudden urge to try to make a basket. Just one. Then he would go home. Except, he had no athletic ability. He tried to shoot the basket four times, and failed.

_Kick rocks in the parking lot_

_Feel like giving up, but I'll never stop_

At this point he felt pathetic. He kept chasing after unattainable dream boys that he could never have, and he couldn't even shoot one single basket! He saw a few stray rocks on the ground and kicked them forward as he loudly groaned. Then he saw a sparkle on one of the rocks, and it happened to be the one that had been kicked towards the basketball. Was that a sign? He shouldn't give up. He picked up the basketball once more and aimed for the basket. He watched in slow motion as it went through the hoop. But his excitement was cut short when he heard a twig snap behind him.

_Run, run, running like a fool_

_Never win if you never lose_

He turned around and saw TJ standing there. Cyrus didn't even get a chance to look at the anxious, sorrowful look on the athlete's face before taking off running. He ran the full 5 blocks before finally falling onto his doorstep, panting. He was not ready yet to see TJ. He needed more time, in order to pull himself together. He went inside and collapsed onto the couch. He turned on the TV and put on a playlist on YouTube. Music always helped.

_And find hope and a little truth_

_Gonna learn new tricks_

_Gotta jump through hoops_

About an hour later, Cyrus heard a knock at the door. A part of him hoped it was TJ, but the other part was still dreading the moment he would meet his eye. He was afraid of the possibility of breaking down crying in front of his crush, but also wanted to get the talking over with so he could know one way or the other if he should move on.

_Not forever, just for now (x2)_

_Not forever (x3)_

_Won't stay down_

He went over to the door, and looked through the peephole. It _was_ TJ! He ran to the couch and grabbed a bunch of tissues, frantically drying his entire face. He then approached the door, and slowly opened it.

"Hi," was all TJ said.

Cyrus's heart dropped to his stomach as he scanned TJ's tear-stained face. He suddenly forgot all about his own pain and panicked.

"TJ! Are you okay? What happened?!" he rambled on. He pulled TJ inside and shut the door. They both sat down on the couch.

"Um...I-I'm sorry I should've texted or something before coming. But I just noticed around 15 minutes ago that I had missed a bunch of calls from you and I s-sort of ran here, um-"

"Oh. That. It's uh- it's nothing. It wasn't important."

"It was clearly important enough to call 5 times within an hour."

"Yeah, uh, anyways," Cyrus laughed nervously. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"It's kind of pathetic...I-I didn't sleep last night. I just felt really really bad about what happened. I didn't want to do the costume with Kira. I wanted to do it with you. And then I saw how upset you were when you saw me and I can't forgive myself," TJ explained. "I'm so so sorry Cyrus. I really don't blame you if you want me to leave you alone from now on...I just want you to know I'm sorry."

"Oh. I um, sort of didn't sleep last night either...I'm only up on coffee but it's not that much help," Cyrus admitted. "Is there any chance you could tell me why you matched with Kira instead? You say you didn't want to but you did it anyway."

"You shouldn't have ran all that way from the park if you haven't even slept. I hope you didn't get hurt."

"You're avoiding my question."

"I'm just scared."

"Of what?"

"Of losing you. That you might hate me when you find out," TJ said to him, a few tears coming down his face.

"TJ," Cyrus said softly, hugging him. "I'm not going to hate you, I promise. Even if you hated me, I would kind of understand."

"Cyrus, don't say that. I would never hate you, and you shouldn't feel so bad about yourself. You're the best person I know," TJ told him after Cyrus pulled out of the hug.

"I'm sorry. So, can you please tell me? I really need to understand why you did it..."

TJ took a deep breath. "Kira came up to me with her costume idea. I told her I already had a costume. But then- she sort of said some things to me. But it's not really what she said, it's more of what she meant. It made me really insecure, because it meant that she likely knew something personal about me that I didn't want anyone to know. I thought I could prove her wrong, I guess."

"But what were you trying to prove? You know it doesn't matter what others think of you, only what you think of yourself."

"But what I think of myself stinks. I'm not worthy of anyone. I can't even do math."

"TJ-"

"You want to know the truth? You really want to know what I wanted so badly to hide that I did a costume with Kira?" TJ raised his voice, and stood up, hands shaking.

"I do, but you don't have to tell me if you're not ready, I understand."

"It's because I like you, Cyrus. I'm gay. That's the secret. I've liked you for a long time and I was terrified of anyone finding out so I thought matching with Kira would make me look more straight. But now you know, so I might as well leave because you're never going to want to be around me again."

"Wait, really? But TJ, I like you too! I really like you and that's why I was so upset when you ditched the costume. I guess I just always felt important when I was around you. You always treat me like I matter and you always believe in me. So then when you showed up matching with Kira, I was crushed. I thought that I was finally someone's first choice but then I was let down again. It hurt worse because I like you so much."

"I'm so sorry Cyrus, I never meant to put you through that. I never thought you'd actually like me back, but I'm so happy that you do. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

"TJ, will you go out with me?" Cyrus asked shyly, lightly blushing.

"Yes, of course I will Cy," TJ smiled really wide.

They both stared at each other's eyes, smiling, until TJ spoke up.

"Can I um, can-can I kiss you?" TJ stuttered, his breath getting caught in his throat.

Cyrus smiled again. Instead of replying, he stood up, and grabbed the back of TJ's head, kissing him. TJ kissed back and they both loved every second of it.

He knew he wouldn't stay down forever.


End file.
